my "no regrets" post. honestly i am quite proud of what i did. and i guess my classmates applauded my action. as i said, i was really angry when i heard it from myles. what he said about me. really angry. but true, for maybe 1 minute. then before the dinner was through, i sort of knew what i want to do. i wasnt angry any more. rather my mind was busily plotting on what i should do. i spent another few days to plan my move and organize my points and ideas. and on the day after dragon boat, i wrote it. it went through a bit of editing but i was so proud that i wrote it. 1500+ words. and even more proud about the commotion and reaction i was getting. ha. i just hope he gets the message. and that is: f*ck off.

i guess my previous entry did create some commotion among my class. people were asking me about it and i guess more had read it. actually that was what i intended in doing. as for me, i am reading it again and again. because it really has some healing effect for me. its my ventilation after one whole year of suffering. its my retaliation. and i hope its the closure to this thing. this relationship with him. i was also soothed by the comments left by my classmates. ma ma also left me an SMS too. i guess thats what i needed. recognition. recognition of my suffering. sometimes people ask me why i am so angry with him. its because they dont understand. i just want people to know. although i think most of them know already, even before my entry, even before year 5. that he is a pk. i just want to give eveyone real proof. but ultimately, my reason of writing the entry, is to send him a message, and that is: dont f*ck with me.

i was leading my own life, my peaceful little life as an HO across the harbour. and you have to irritate me. even after one whole year of telling you to f*ck off. you still have to irritate me. you should know what i can do. you should know what i am capable of. but you still have to do it. you still have to come and bite me. why? havent you had enough? you want more? then i will give you more. you are so f*cked up.